More often than not, my blog posts develop out of conversations I have with clients. This is one of those. When we have completed our big work together, and the magic has happened, then a different kind of work starts. The work to own it and integrate it, and to develop one specific new habit that will change your life.
You Are Good Enough Already
Simply ask yourself one new question, as regularly as you can.
"What positive, powerful changes have I seen and experienced because of the work I have done?"
Often people refuse to let themselves celebrate and feel good until they've gotten to some milestone that's "Out there". The trouble with those milestones, for we high achievers who carry that old story that nothing is every quite good enough – the danger is in never letting yourself just be there, where you are good enough. So you never celebrate, and so – it's never enough.
See the cycle?
You are good enough, of course, right here right now.
You are in the right place.
Because you are right here, in the middle of your path. How in the world could it possibly be different? How could you be anywhere other than where you are right now?
Why not let that be good enough for right now? What if you let it be just fine – or maybe even (gasp) perfect? Leave the future in the future. Sure, have goals and dreams and aspirations. Just don't sacrifice feeling good in this moment, recognizing what you have done, who you have become.
You can get there by asking this question:
What positive, powerful changes have I seen and experienced because of what I have done?
You can always find evidence in either direction. We all can.
I certainly have my big moments on focusing on "Oh Sh*t what have I done, what a screw up, how could I have done that?" etc. I am no different than you.
And – the other side is ALWAYS there.
What will change your life is focusing on the positive, powerful changes you have created and experienced because of what you have done.
I promise, I am talking to myself at least as much as I am talking to you. I am having a heart to heart with my own coach this afternoon to get fully back to appreciation, and then back into to forward action. (Yes, I have a coach. Why would I be offering something I don't 100% believe in? We all need both sides of the coaching model. Appreciation for what is and action for what's next.)
So – let's take a deep breath together and find the answers.
What changes have you seen and experienced because of the work you have done?
Because of how you stepped up, because you would no longer accept the way things were, and determined to change them, to change your
focus, to release some old demons.
Ask yourself: "What's different now? Where have I seen shifts and changes, where is there more possibility?"
And then take it a step further – do yourself a favor and stand up publicly and claim your shifts – there's a perfect forum right here. Add your celebration to the comments. I would LOVE it. What's gotten better for you, because of what you've done?
For me – the biggest celebration for the work I have done is that I am so much clearer about who I am, I am so much more willing to speak my mind, to follow my own preferences as I celebrate other people following theirs. I'm far better at healthy compassionate powerful boundaries and I am much more compassionate with myself most of the time. I get to watch myself helping other people get to the same place of self-compassion, so they can move ahead peacefully and powerfully toward what they want next.
How about you? Your turn!
And even if you don't end up sending it to me, be sure to ask yourself those questions regularly.
It's what I do with my morning pages when I am in touch with doing what moves me forward – which I, like you, like everyone, am not always in that place. So let that be OK too.
What I do know without the slightest doubt is that keeping these questions handy and asking them again will put me back in that place. They help me remember the bigger picture and my movement forward toward the greater peace I want to feel.
Hugs all around!!!!! I'll be watching for your celebrations – bring 'em on!