What is a fully Connected and Engaged life?
Eight years ago I had a moment when I looked at my life and decided to make it different.
I was deeply frustrated by what was happening – or more to the point, what was NOT happening. I knew I was “phoning it in” as they say – not engaged. not connected. Empty.
I was 50 yers old. My kids were launched. What did I want now?
I kept trying new things, trying to figure out what I wanted. Twice I started new businesses, but my heart wasn’t in them. I kept coming back to the same place. Disengaged. Discouraged. Eddied out in my own life.
One day I sat up in bed and had one of the most memorable moment of my life. In retrospect, I can say I had hit bottom.
In the story as I have told it before, I’ve described this moment as “I said” – but really, I FELT this conviction, with every fiber of my being. I transmitted this message from my core, with every ounce of my energy:
I am DONE
“I am DONE with being in this state. I don’t know what it will take, where I will go, what it will be – but this I know: I will no longer settle for anything less than a fully inspired, connected and engaged, life.
“Universe, take me. I will follow. I will do whatever it takes. I want two things. I want the work of my heart, and I want to be able to do it from where ever I want to be. I demand to feel inspired and alive. Whatever it takes. I will accept no less.”
I rented out my house, packed my car and headed out on the road, being open to whatever showed up. Following nudges, following opportunities. Showing up. I just kept showing up.
And it has brought me here. To a place and time where I am in perpetual awe of the world and my life, what is possible, what is happening, who has showed up, how things have developed. And how I feel. The amazing, connected and engaged; inspired way I feel.
Has it been easy?
HA! It has been terrifying, exhilarating, hard, exciting, scary, intense, empty, full…it has been everything.
But easy? Well, here’s what I would say about easy. The one thing that has made it anything in the constellation of easy is the depth of my commitment. It has only been easy in the sense that something in me chose to make it a 150% commitment. A 1000% commitment. It has been all there is.
There have been moments that I have not been positive I would survive it. Not at all positive I wouldn’t lose everything.
But there has never once been a moment that I thought of quitting, that I considered any alternative to reaching this place of living fully, completely inspired connected and engaged. Somehow, I chose to allow no alternative, anywhere in my being, and I have remained completely committed to that choice.
In its own way, that full-on commitment has made it easy.
After I made the leap, I spent years feeling like I was gripping the face of a cliff, holding on for dear life. Looking for handholds, nubbins to grab, ledges to rest on for a minute.
Little by little, I have had more and more moments and days when I have felt like I’ve reached the top of the mesa, that I’m no longer gripping the cliff face.
Today, I notice that I’ve unclipped from the safety line, and am standing in the meadow and pine forest up here on the plateau, looking around and breathing the amazing air.
A few extra pieces clicked into place this morning, that brought me to the awareness of this new picture. In my work now, I engage with the unconscious mind, releasing the fears and doubts that hold me, or you, back.
This morning, I realized and released one last major limiting belief that I was carrying in my cells. The result is a far deeper, more complete willingness to allow ALL the parts to be OK, to fall into place. So finally, there is no part of me resisting being in this amazing place.
This may not make any sense to you – or it may. It will serve as it does.
For me, I just want to stand on this beautiful ground and speak it. Speak my gratitude. Speak my wonder of it all.
And to name, from this vantage point in the middle of my inspired, connnected and engaged, life, what I feel:
- Nimble, balanced, centered, grounded.
- Prosperous, flowing, abundant.
- Grateful. Oh, so very grateful.
And here is my current definition of an inspired, connected and engaged life:
The state of being fully willing and able to show up completely.
What I have done (and will continue to do, as I polish the edges) is to clear out the voices, the resistances, the fears, the doubts – everything inside me that held me back and told me that, for whatever reason, I couldn’t or shouldn’t show up completely. The old voices that questioned whether I deserved to show up completely. The voices that said I couldn’t have what I want, who was I to think I could do this, have this, be this…
And this is my work in the world. To do this myself, to inspire and help others to do this, and just to simply to live this way, holding this space for whoever is determined to join me here.
Is it easy? No.
Is it easy? Yes.
It is all there is.
If you are standing at a point in your life where you are wondering if it is worth the leap – I say YES.
A thousand, million, gazillion times,
And here is another thing I see more clearly. The purpose and outcome of the discovery session I offer is to help you get to the highest possible level of commitment and conviction to make whatever change you are determined to make. Because it is that conviction that makes the difference. Throwing your heart over the jump.
If you are determined to live your own fullyinspired, connected and engaged life, I invite you with all my heart to take the leap, make the commitment, do what it takes. If I can help you, I will be delighted. It is why I am alive. To help create a world filled with people living inspired, engaged lives. Contact me and we'll explore where you are, where you want to be, and how to get you around whatever is in the way of you being there, right now.