Please don’t “Fake it ‘til you make it”

If I am at war with anything (which I’m generally not, but this one does get me going!) it is the idea of “fake it until you make it.”

I would say the polar opposite: Get real.


We are carrying a boatload of cultural anxiety which is both caused by and causing us to live in pretense, prove everything endlessly, and push push push to keep ahead of some unseen “not enoughness” that is strengthened by the idea of somehow pretending to know, rather than knowing what you know and admitting what you don’t and just getting down to the business of learning what you need.


Whew. Sorry about the mouthful there. Here’s the simpler version:


Relax. Just get real. Be OK with not knowing. Be OK with whatever is present. That’s the only place you can begin, if you want a solid foundation under what you are creating.


Bring yourself to the task with an open mind, and see what is true in your system.

Don’t fake it to match some perceived way you need to be because our culture says so.


What is actually true in your system is the only thing that matters, as your foundation.

If you pretend something else is true, you are freaking out the animal inside you that knows good and well what is real and what is bullshit. That animal has the best sniffer on the planet, and it knows when it’s being put in position that doesn’t have a solid basis.


When you know yourself, know your tendencies, know your strengths, know where you have gaps that need to be filled by you or someone else’s real strength – that is when you are ready, and in a position, to go all in. To be fully present, not anxious, not pretentious, not blustering. You may be nervous – but it’s valid nervousness. That’s the kind of nervousness that turns into excitement when you breathe into it.


Go for it. Get real. It’s a lot more fun and a WHOLE lot less taxing on your system.