I know there was a time in my life when the decision came down:
Play time is over now. It’s time to get real. Time to get serious.
Actually, I know there have been many times that decision has been handed down, inside me.
Now I am starting to wonder if it was just a big misunderstanding.
A costly one, for sure – but what the heck. What else was I doing anyway?
I am in the process of letting go of taking everything so seriously.
And yet, there certainly are things to take seriously.
Just maybe not the things I was taught, in the way I was taught.
There’s a feeling of triumph I want to feel – I have felt it before and I want to feel it again. And I think that feeling requires taking something seriously. Having a challenge that is very real, and very close to my heart, and right at the edge of my capacity and capabilities.
I want to feel like I am being well and fully used. I want all my gifts to be needed, to matter, and to be called upon, all the pieces of myself that I love to use being activated and called forth.
So in that, I need to take my own desire seriously. Pay attention, stay aware. Stay awake to the conversation inside me. Take the boundaries seriously, that keep me able to hear myself feel, feel myself think. Take laughter seriously. Be diligent about my willingness to be a joke, to be ridiculous. Without getting all attached to it all.
Be serious about listening to what is being transmitted, committed to being a good dancer. Without getting all attached to how I dance. To choose the dances I want to do, and willing to sit some out…and to show up and dance anyway if I’m still on the floor when the music starts again.