If you want to do one single thing to improve every single relationship in your life, I would say: Learn and use EFT.
That’s why I offer this as a free training. I believe that the more this is used in the world, the better off we will all be. I am delighted to do my part.
You will improve your relationship with people, of course, but you will also improve all your other relationships…which is everything in your life. Your health, wellness, money, work, spirituality, yes. And your relationship with the things that frustrate you – your indecision, your procrastination, your clutter. And even joy. Yes, even joy. EFT expands your capacity to accept and feel. Why not expand your capacity for feeling joy?
When you’re angry or triggered, EFT will allow you to diffuse the aggressive energy. You can excuse yourself for a few minutes, have your complete reaction in private, come back into your body, breathe, return to the situation calm and ready once again to come from love, holding nothing back.
If you know that you’ve been stuffing your feelings all your life, and now it just seems to big to let any of them out, EFT will give you a way express your feelings in safety, going deeper and releasing more completely than you can if you simply try to let them out without tapping.
If you’re crying and you want to let yourself go but don’t feel like you can, tap. Let EFT help you. You’ll be amazed at how you can surrender into the tears and come out the other side in true relief. If you want to scream, tap. If you’re confused, tap. If you don’t know what to say, tap.
There’s really no limit to what you can tap on, with real results for your life.
Can you tell I am an ardent fan? Yes, indeed. Here’s how I really feel:
Why I love EFT, for myself and my clients
EFT has been described as psychological acupuncture. To me, that’s a pretty good description. The basic idea is that when an emotionally charged event happens, you often store the charge as a block in your energy system, and it acts like to a short-circuit. You can release these blocks by tapping in a specific way on specific meridian points.
It is stunningly effective work, and has been used with great success for things like PTSD in veterans. I use it all the time, and find it very effective in both releasing old anger, sadness or grief that may come up, and helping me feel emotions in the moment more deeply. As I said above, it can even help me feel more joy. Just don’t try to start with joy if what you’re feeling is furious. Start where you are. EFT above all is your opportunity to honor your feelings, just as they are, with no judgment and no editing. See the video below on why it’s so important to tap on the negative feelings.
It’s really about expanding your capacity to feel, in general. Which in my book is a very good thing.
It always helps to know the big WHY.
You can recognize that you are dealing with an old emotion if your reaction is way out of proportion to the event that triggers it. If a person cuts you off in traffic, if a co-worker interrupts you, if your spouse is late to a dinner engagement…any one of these things might trigger a response that would be in the lower end of the emotional scale – maybe a 2 or 3 on a scale of 0-10. But if you find yourself reacting at a level 8 or 9 to an event like that – that’s a good tip that you’re not in the present moment. You are reacting to an old memory of what that meant from some other time in your life.
EFT can help you release that old emotion, so from this point forward you are able to deal with the experience in the present moment, instead of being triggered by all that old pent-up emotion.
It helps to understand what’s happening in terms of the energy flow of the tapping process.
Here’s the basic EFT Training – the tapping points. As you can see, I taped this a few years ago.
Probably one of the biggest single resistances I see is an unwillingness to tap on the negative. That part of the process is critical for one very simple reason. You are dealing with feelings that were denied in the first place. If you deny them again, you’re not changing a thing. Trust me, you are not going to stay in the negative – you simply have to start where you are, with what you are feeling. That’s the point.
Here’s what I tell people who don’t WANT to focus/tap on the negative.
Tapping on the negative, part two: Think of it as the allowed tantrum
To further clarify what is happening in tapping on the negative, I like to imagine the small child who didn’t get to feel that emotion the first time around. You’re giving her (or him) a chance to throw the tantrum that wasn’t allowed then. Trust me, once that tantrum’s been thrown, you are in for a LOT more peace.
I am still shooting the videos to finish out this page, for now here s the overall training.
Audio training for how to use EFT:
Click here to listen to the EFT training module from my Risk, Leap, Dream, Dare Program:
Click here to hear the “EFT for feeling like a fraud” example
Remembering to use EFT
Believe it or not, about the hardest part of EFT is remembering to use it! To me, that is a sign of just how powerful it is. Here is a short conversation about what is up with that, and how to work around it.
Other EFT Resources:
EFT_Flier This is a flier I created several years ago that has the tapping points illustrated
Gary Craig’s site Gary Craig is the founder/developer of EFT. This site is loaded with great trainings, an amazing manual, etc. I highly recommend checking it out. I particularly love his “personal peace procedure” which takes a proactive stance to clearing out old energy blocks.
Nick Ortner is a prominent figure in the EFT world. Here are some instructions he offers. He and his sister Jessica created the Tapping Summit several years ago and it’s a huge resource. If you sign up to their newsletter, you’ll get notified of events, plus he shares a lot of value. They filmed a movie about EFT, which is available here: https://www.thetappingsolution.com/blog/
top tapping points This is from Carol Look, a prominent EFT practitioner. Very good information.
Asking good questions This is a useful resource, to help you as you feel your way through all this.