In 2005, I hit a very real wall.
I had gradually become less and less able to try new things in my life, and as a result my life had contracted around me to the point that I was stuck, broke, dissatisfied and profoundly frustrated.
One morning it all hit the fan and I sat up in bed, screaming a proclamation to the ceiling. (At the time I had no clarity on my spiritual connection, and had no idea “who” I was talking to. From my perspective nw, I would say I was talking directly to Life).
This is what I said: “F*%$K this! Not one more minute, NOT ONE MORE MINUTE OF THIS. Whatever this is. I will not do this one more minute.
Here is my new truth: I will settle for nothing less than a fully engaged life, whatever that means. I don’t know.
Here’s what I do know. This is what I want: I want the work of my heart and I want to be able to do it from wherever I am. Beyond that, I am following. Take me. Show me. I’ll show up.
From that moment I entered a new journey that has been quite a ride. And this morning, this is what I have to offer, as a report from this journey.
My personal journey has been a journey to enoughness, and I now know that enoughness and forgiveness are inextricably linked.
I now understand forgiveness as the profound, full body understanding and acceptance of enoughness.
The knowing, in every cell of my body, that it is all enough. Everything is enough. Right now. I am enough, you are enough, and this situation is enough. Life is enough. In this moment in time, I carry no agenda that anything be different than it is right now. I am in love with life.
In this moment, I know these things:
I do not need any more from you than you have the desire and capacity to give with a whole heart.
I do not owe anyone more than I have the desire and capacity to give with a whole heart.
I do not have an obligation to take or receive more than I have the desire and capacity to, with a full and glad heart.
What this gives me:
I have a clear NO to the things I do not want or cannot afford.
This opens up my complete YES to the things I truly desire – the things I desire enough to move heaven and earth to make real.
With this being true, I can fully engage with life.
In this way I can connect with other humans in whole-hearted living.
From this place I can begin anew, in each moment, to create the world I truly desire.
A world in which all people can love themselves, each other, and the Earth, and act accordingly.
Thank you, life. Thank you for such an exquisite journey. I can’t wait to see what’s next!