It’s the big question, isn’t it –

What is the part of me that makes me ME,

What are the elements outside myself that help define me?
Which ones should matter, which ones shouldn’t?

I’ve just embarked onto a path of personal exploration and adventure in this area. Once again, as so many of the big things in my life have started, it began as a nudge from the Universe, to begin to get much more serious about my physicality.

For starters, after feeling the tug of a deep fatigue, I decided to start a Chinese wellness regimen that has really boosted my overall well being.

Almost immediately on the heels of that, (kind of even surprising myself) I engaged the services of Tamara Gold, a personal stylist in LA – I had heard a lot about her from close friends, and had known that at some point I would work with her…now all of a sudden I was doing it.

That led to an intensive day with her in LA, which led to a photo shoot. All of which set me up for my most successful networking events EVER in San Diego and Las Vegas…and exponentially upleveled my business and the people and opportunities I was attracting.

Not because of new clothes (actually, mostly I was in my same clothes, tweaked a little, with a couple of new jackets).

No –it was about the depth of authenticity I felt in this new look, the tiny new distinctions. And, in a funny way it came about from the permission granted by this person, this expert, who really SAW me, when she created these cool looks that we both agreed were ME.

Like – I needed permission to dress like me?

Well, I guess I did…at any rate, she dressed me more like ME than I ever had.

It was an absolute life changing experience.

I also know it was all in its own good time. I could not have owned this new image had I not already done the work on my skills, my business, and my inner game that allowed me to be congruent with it all.

For me it’s especially fascinating because most of my life I have had so much noise in my head about clothing, style, etc…noise about what really matters, what should matter, what shouldn’t matter.

What I know now is that having found Tamara, this person whose mission it is in life is to help others to find their true authentic essence and the style that communicates it, I now am swimming in the palpable relief that I finally match, inside to out.

I feel that what people see finally matches who I really am, so I show up relaxed, authentic and able to give all my attention to what truly does matter, instead of being distracted by a sense of not quite having it right.

So why am I writing so much about this?

Merely because there are so many things that define us, in some way. What we wear, what we drive, who we spend our time with, etc.

And we resist that fact. I know that I am not the only one who has the noise going on about what should and shouldn’t matter.

I’m doing a lot of musing these days about all that – and so far what I have come up with, from this experience, is that when I can connect with such a simple change that uplevels how I feel, and the inspiration that I am able to connect with, so hugely – I am no longer willing to believe it doesn’t matter.

I was just trying to pretend that it didn’t matter…and I was paying a big price for that, in my business, and in my personal peace – my own ability to be totally present.

So – my question this month is…where are you telling yourself that something doesn’t matter…when actually it does?

Where are you resisting moving toward something that would inspire you, and holding yourself back because of internal “shoulds” about what should or shouldn’t matter?

For you, it might have nothing to do with clothes…you may well think I’ve been crazy for thinking that clothes DON’T matter. For you, it might have to do with the work you do, or what you’re reading, or who you’re hanging out with – or who knows what!

ARGH! That old word that I thought I had eradicated! Should. Here it was again, and I hadn’t even noticed.

I had been letting it run my clothing decisions almost all my life. It shouldn’t matter, at least not so much.

I’m coming to this conclusion – that a big thing we can each do to really, truly add value and joy and peace to the world is to allow ourselves to get better and better at being able to hear our inner desire, to feel the direction our hearts are pulling us, and allow ourselves to move in that direction freely.

If something matters to you, listen to your heart. Hear what it’s saying.

Let it matter. Maybe go deeper in your exploration…in my case, I was focusing on the clothes. At the end of the day, allowing the just right clothes to matter has given me a level of congruence that DOES matter and has always mattered to me.

I hope this is helpful to some of you.

It still feels a bit odd to be writing about clothes, I have got to tell you! But, there you are.

Here’s what I’m REALLY writing about: Let what matters, matter.

Figure out what about it matters, that matches what you truly value, and invite it in. Have some fun, as always; lighten up and laugh at it a little. I know I am!

Especially as I write this!!

HA! Who knew, an article on clothes.

Cheers, y’all!

PS. Tamara Gold was the stylist, Lesley Bohm the photographer