Last fall a client came to work with me in person for a few days. We had taken a deep dive together several years ago, in which I had been helping her deepen her trust trust of life, and her willingness to engage.
When she found out I am now guiding in and around Zion National Park, she jumped on the chance to come down and see what she could open up in her life, in view of a recent big shifts.
While she was here, after our day canyoneering, she laughed and called me a badass. She said I’m her badass coach, teaching her how to be a badass too.
That made me laugh and while it made me pretty uncomfortable, it also really resonated. I was not ready to market myself as the badass coach, but it has given me something interesting to think about over the winter, and now I have something to say about being “badass.”
I initially resisted taking the idea in because I projected a bunch of my own stuff onto that poor word, in my own very human way…
I made it mean that she was wanting to make herself into something she wasn’t, that she was wanting to push and prove her way through.
Which was my own projection that if I called myself a badass, I was way overstepping, trying to be something I wasn’t.
The first rappel
Here’s a sneak peek behind the scenes in my own inner wilderness…
What turned out to be true was that I believed I could not be a badass myself, because in my personal pantheon of beliefs, I was not actually courageous myself, and a badass has to be courageous. When I dug into this and checked my unconscious dictionary, I found a very disempowering belief about me and courage, to wit: For me, courage was what I had not done yet. Once I had done something, it was not courageous. I trust you can feel the depth of THAT double bind! I could never be badass, because I could never be courageous, because if I had done it, it didn’t take courage. It was just something I had done. Therefore, the idea of being a badass coach was out of the question.
I tell you this to demonstrate why it is so freeing to find those deepest double bind beliefs in your system. FYI, just to be crystal clear, this definition did not apply to other people. Other people were courageous all the time. Just not me. Sheesh.
Feel any resonance with THAT one? Yes, we humans have many commonalities, many places of similarity and connection that it pays to share. There is big freedom in sharing, laughing about, and letting go of these crazy inner definitions.)
Learning how to be safe
So, after a winter of musing, here’s what I think about badass.
I think badass is the state of being willing to be completely yourself, in a way and with a personal power that celebrates and contributes to life.
Part of my initial resistance was that I do not ever want to be teaching people to be something they are not. I have a deep aversion to the idea of pushing or convincing someone to take different risks than are the native risks they will encounter on their journey to being fully themselves, out in the world. There is plenty of risk on the road to being you…you don’t need to add to it by trying to be someone you are not, or do something that doesn’t feel resonant with you, to prove anything.
I have no interest – in fact the opposite: a very definitive desire to NOT try to convince anyone to be more like me, or more like anyone else.
Beginning the big rappel
What I want is to help you discover and feel safe enough to be willing to be completely and fully your own self. The most absolute genuine, authentic, beautiful, real version of yourself you can feel at the moment.
I DID IT!!! The exuberance of feeling comPLETELY alive.
And you know what? That is badass!
What could be more badass than to be utterly and completely yourself?
What could be “riskier?” Although happily, that is changing swiftly. It is becoming more and more acceptable to be yourself, fully accepting all of who you are. That’s a great thing.
And…there are things to know about how to be a masterful badass. A badass who is a contributor in the world. Because if you plow through the world as an unconscious, entitled badass, you are going to wreak havoc in your world, and in our shared world. We are being shown this in no uncertain terms, in many areas.
A beautifully badass human
The trick is to understand the beautiful nuances of how to be a connected, loving, engaged badass, contributing to the world in a powerfully positive and optimistic way. In a way that inspires others to expand into their full badassed-ness around you. Feel the excitement and beautiful power of being the badass you are – in a way that serves everyone else beautifully as well.
So, yeah – I still don’t know if I’m going to adopt this as the centerpoint of my new brand! LOL.
But I am going to claim it. There it is. What feels genuine for me right now:
Yes, I am a badass, determined to claim that fact and expand my willingness and ability to be even more beautifully myself, bringing my unique gifts to the world in a loving and powerful way.
And so are you. At this point in the world’s evolution, anyone who is still alive, in my book, is a serious badass. This adventure at this time is NOT for the faint of heart.
I love to help people own their own badass self. I love to help you explore and find the part of you who is determined to live your unique life as the beautiful adventure it really is. I lvoe to share what I have learned about how to be a fully prepared, mature and wise badass who is ready, able and willing to step into the unknown and test yourself in the trenches of human connection…the most compellingly real adventure of all.
Rock on, you!! Rock on, us! Let’s badass this thing together. We can do this, and the world wants this. Life wants this. From all of us.